When In Doubt, Just Be You


Today I was reminded about who I am and what I’m meant to do.

No, this isn’t a piece on self-reflection and authenticity. This about owning who you are without apologies or caveats. This is an ode to stepping into your space and finding the flow pocket.

Yesterday I turned 34. This was the first time in over seven years that I haven’t cried on my birthday. I had a lovely day with friends. Some showed up, some didn’t. Normally I would’ve focused on why people weren’t there and what it meant about me. Yesterday was different. On September 24th, I made a pledge to show up differently and stop looking for what was wrong around me.

I had been wrestling around with the judgment of who I was supposed to be as a coach. Here was my list:

  • Honest
  • Supportive
  • Creative
  • Empathetic
  • Energized
  • Professional
  • Organized

Does that list bore you as much as it does for me? I’m half asleep (probably because I’m writing this in bed). That’s great for somebody else, but it sure as hell isn’t me.

Over the last year I have come to terms with the fact that I am not for everyone.

I love to curse. I don’t have a poker face. I speak out of turn. I get more excited than my clients when I hear a great idea. I yell at people if they’re disrespecting themselves. I exercise tough love. I use sarcasm and puns on a regular basis. I don’t meditate every day. I care about what people think of me. I judge other people and their actions. I am NOT Gandhi.

So now that we’ve gotten that out of the way I can tell you about my revelation.

In the last month, I have had the most kick ass clients and contacts come into my life. They are ready to do the work. They love to be challenged and to play. They love that someone will tell them honestly and directly what they see. They don’t hesitate when I tell them my rates. They show up and they kick ass.

Today I had a consult with a business owner who was my ideal client to a T. She is in the creative space as is self-aware and ready to put herself out there to take her business to the next level. That sounds pretty good for a standard client so I decided to dig deeper. Before our call I decided to check out her website and Instagram account. In addition to being creative, articulate and professional, I saw a sparkly neon light of awesomeness – she has a deep love for 90s hip hop and terrible Sci-Fi. YES!

Our call became an exchange of philosophies and life experiences. The fifteen minutes flew by and it felt more like friends catching up than a sales pitch. (This is what I consider the flow pocket).

I’m pretty sure I cursed at least three times and called work-life balance bullshit. I made lyrical references to Snoop Dogg and Salt N Pepa and offered to send my rapping YouTube video over.

I’m sure I broke some rules in Coaching Etiquette 101, but rules are just suggestions. My goal is to connect with people and see them where they are. In exchange they see me as a real person and not some high brow consultant analyzing their every move and decision.

We’re all going to mess up at some point – and that’s awesome. Lessons are born in the messiest of decisions. When we can let our hair down and trust the creative process to dig in and see our way out of our blocks, we can build a vision we never knew existed.

I am grateful for the coaches, friends and family around me, that have been trust my process even when I’m sure I sounded crazy. I am even more thankful for the people that didn’t believe my bullshit when I tried to be that other kind of coach.

Surround yourself with good and honest people. Take risks. Fail. Get Back Up. Fail Again. Learn. Grow. AND BE AWESOME.